By now, you've hopefully read about our epic meal at Bern's in Tampa. And maybe you noticed that none of the food was particularly creative or so very different from a fantastic steak at a local San Francisco steakhouse.
So what made this experience so very special? And why, for pete's sake, are we already planning our next anniversary trip around a stop in Tampa for dinner at Bern's?
Frankly, it's simple. Bern's creates a magical experience by ensuring that you have fun while you're there. We'll remember Lyndon, our waiter, forever. We'll remember that wine list, and the later tour of the cellar, forever. And we'll certainly never forget the momentary thrill of being whisked up the back stairs, "the entrance we use for VIPs," to our completely private booth for dessert & digestifs.
This post is long -- almost excruciatingly so. But I hope you'll read through. If you only have time for one section, just read the tour of the wine cellar, towards the bottom of the post. You'll be glad you did.
First Impressions
The first time you drive up to Bern's, you'll be hard-pressed to believe it's a restaurant -- it's a large, non-descript, white stucco building with a hotel-style porte-cochere in front.
The valet will take your keys and pass a ticket to the hostess. You'll be whisked through a labyrinth of corridors and rooms, each looking more like a bordello than a dining room. The rooms (which in total seat 300) each have a distinct "theme" - for example, Cameo has cameo portraits on the walls, while Burgundy displays a 30' map of the Côte d'Or.
About Your Waiter
Once seated, you're amazingly well taken care of by a waiter who has had no less than 18 months of mind-boggling training in the Bern's fiefdom -- new hires can have no previous restaurant experience.
Trainees spend time at each kitchen station and at the organic farm before ever setting foot in a dining room. They spend months assisting waiters, working in the dessert room, and learning the cellars under a sommelier's tutelage. Next, they become a "red jacket" - they are given their own tables, but only under the watchful eye of a dining captain.
Finally, they sit for a 3-hour oral exam which, if they pass, bestows the honor of a room and a name. That's over two years from entry to the floor. These guys have a serious sense of history, and to say that they exude Bern's-ness from their pores would be an understatement.
The Kitchen Tour
I don't think everyone gets the tour. But if you ask for it, they'll most likely give it to you. We were lucky to have a fairly late (for non-Miami Florida, anyway) reservation and by the time we had finished our dinner, it was midnight. Lydon insisted that we take what was left of our wine, and follow him for the tour.
You can't imagine how enormous this kitchen is. There's a butcher station, a baker's station (for bread only, and with a custom-made fan to keep the area free of odors -- desserts are made upstairs), a fishmonger's station, plus a separate area for the coffee roaster. Yup, Bern's roasts their own custom-blend on-site every morning; what doesn't get used that day gets sent to their retail store a few blocks away.
As you're walking, your waiter-cum-tour guide points out all the custom-fabricated appliances: a grill that fits 200 steaks, three 1200-gallon fish tanks, an enormous custom plancha. They compost all their remnant food for use in their own organic garden, and have been since before it was "trendy".
You quickly get the sense that nothing is left to chance here -- every single aspect of the meal is perfectly controlled by one person whose job it is to make sure there's not a single piece of wilted lettuce in your salad, or that there's not a micron of gristle on your steak. It's a fascinating place.
The Wine Cellar Tour
But wait, there's more... you haven't even seen the best part yet.
As the door to the wine cellar opens, you're hit with a blast of 55° air, and the unmistakable, inimitable scent redolent of a wine cave.
At first glance, it seems pretty pedestrian -- until you realize all those bottles in the first room are wines offered by the glass (over 200 of them, in fact). OK, now you're hooked.
The first ante chamber is staggering -- rare wines, wrapped in plastic bags to protect the labels from damage surround you. But what's this contraption in front? It's a custom-made recorker. Huh? Keep reading.
In 1992, Robert Revelle (Maitre de Chais at Lafite-Rothschild) visited Bern's to recork the older (1966 and earlier) first growths. Revelle himself designed the recorking table, and Bern Laxer had it built to his exacting specifications. The table allowed Revelle to do his work in half the time, exposing the wine to less air thus preserving it better.
At this point, you are so caught up in the magic of this cellar, you're hardly surpised to see the magnum of 1961 Gaja, signed by Angelo Gaja himself, looking up at you. You wonder what the bottle of 1875 Barbeito Malmsey, covered with a thick layer of dust, has seen in its voyage to this chilly antechamber.
By the time you've reached the farthest reaches of the cellar, kept at a frigid 48-50° to keep the champagnes chilled, you realize that you could come here every month for the rest of your life, and still not taste every bottle that speaks to you.
This, dear reader, is the magic of Bern's. It's about story-telling. Awe-inspiring. And letting adults remember the joy of their first time in a candy store.
