An Interesting Observation

Well, it seems that BlogHer has caused quite a stir in this here Blogosphere. A quick search on Technorati reveals nearly 2,000 posts on the subject, and a great many of those posts have an earful to say about the context of the conference.

Add to that the really lovely and supporting comments you guys have left on my earlier post about the topic, and you've got the makings for a lot of self-examination and more than a cursory look at one's own community.

And then it hit me: The food-blogging community has a disproportionately high number of child-free members. I count no fewer than 10 people in my blogroll (yea, that one over there on the right) whom I know to have chosen not to have kids.

I find that fascinating. And before you bring it up, I don't actually think it has to do with the people I'm drawn to, because most of the people on my blogroll were there before I ever developed friendships with them. So, it's less of a self-fulfilling prophecy than you might think.

I suppose that generally speaking, foodies are a pretty hedonistic crowd, which maybe doesn't  lend itself to the types of sacrifices it takes to be a great parent. But that's just not food bloggers, is it? I mean, everyone has their days of debauchery. So why this odd disparity?

(For the record, there are also some wickedly awesome parents in my blogroll -- people who are raising little human beings that are smart, funny, well-mannered and a joy to be around. So shushie.)

Tags: BlogHer, Motherhood, Parenting, Food, Food & Drink, San Francisco

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Comments

[sam]

hmmm. you could be on to something here Fatemeh.
I wouldn't necessarily say, btw, I chose NOT to have kids, but conversely I obviously didn't choose TO have them either. So, I have clearly ended up without them so far and expect it to remain that way (since F thinks the same way as C) and that's cool with me, que sera sera, I don't intend to force the issue, but I DO intend to eat many more good meals in my lifetime, if I can possibly help it!
Hooray for hedonism.

[sam]

PS - maybe we should do a survey on food blog scool?

I havent worked out to elegantly get poll software working on blogger yet though

[Derrick Schneider]

Hedonism certainly doesn't mesh well with the sacrifices of child-rearing (though Jack and Joanne manage just fine, and they're even raising a hedonistic kid), but how many of the child-free couples are you thinking of that also live in the Bay Area? This environment doesn't lend itself to kids. The Chron had a piece a while back about how you never see kids out of strollers here--because when the kids start being school-aged, the parents hightail it to somewhere with a better school system. (i.e., out of the Bay's border cities)

There's probably no single answer, of course.

[Fatemeh]

That's a good point, Derrick. And perhaps a yet further disproportionate number of the non-parents are in California.

That, of course, begs the chicken & egg question: Does the Bay Area attract people who are less likely to want children?

[erin]

As a fellow food blogger, I do plan to have kids someday (I'm 27). However, part of the reason I'd like to delay is b/c of the exploring I still want to do on my own (or with my husband)--travelling and of course, eating.

Though I do hope that once I have kids the exploring/hedonism won't stop--it'll just change a bit.

[Elise]

Hi Fatemeh - I think the main reason that not as many food bloggers have kids is that those folks with kids don't have time to do the kid thing, work, cook, etc. and blog. Most of my friends with kids are just interested in 30 minute meals - the way they can easily and quickly get nourishing food on the table. Doesn't exactly lend itself to food blogging. I mean, if they love food, they'll take that extra half hour and cook with it, not write about it.

[Lenn]

I'm glad to hear that Nena and I won't be shunned (and LENNDEVOURS removed from your blogroll) next spring once we go from being DINK to parental. :)

I think you might be on to something though...there have already been many sacrifices in our house...and Nena is only 14 weeks. I can't say that it's hard -- becuase it's for a great reason -- but it's not easy either.

Of course, it's even harder for my lovely wife...so I'm not complaining in the least.

Derrick...now that you say it...I don't think I saw more than one stroller the whole time I was in San Francisco.

[Tana]

Strollers in San Francisco would be challenging on those hills, don't ya think? I personally don't like the idea of bringing up children in a big city. Children need a connection to nature. I cannot fathom bringing up children in NYC: it is literally incomprehensible to me.

Children do curtail one's ability to be spontaneous, and they do curtail one's free time and money.

We are bringing up a grandson—who, thank GOD, has been eating grown-up food (like, adult spicy salsa) since before he had teeth in his little Muppet mouth. Yes, I guess he is a hedonist in training. (And a farmer in training, I hope.)

But being a stay-home mother (which in essence, I am for the foreseeable future), I have no judgments about women who choose not to have children. I celebrate people who don't procreate, overpopulation being at the root of the world's worst problems.

The people I don't like are the ones who glare at you if you walk in with a baby or a child. Or worse, who glare at the child. Which I am certain you are not among their number, Fatemeh. (Or you, Sam.)

[me]

That's an interesting question, F. I don't think the Bay area attracts pepople who don't want kids. I've lived here for 10 years and my husband and I own a home. I can't stay enough how much I LOVE SF. We want kids and yet we want to find a way to continue)to travel extensively and eat well.

I think it's just when people ACTUALLY have kids, you realize how much MORE expensive the bay area is and life gets too difficult and expensive.

We are hoping, however, that we can stay here, raise kids here and continue to eat fabulous meals here.

Great conversation, BTW.

[Tatiana]

I'm a little late with this comment, but I just found this blog and in two weeks read the last two years of posts.... I am also child-free by choice and I think it reflects the general trend of more and more couples choosing to be so, not just in the food blogging world but in general. Many people are also having children later and will have them in the next decade or so. There does need to be a community of DINKs out there though, because many people across the board feel a little out of touch with all of their friends who are busy changing diapers and ferrying kids to sports practice. They are still our friends and we love them, but it's hard to call them up on spur of the moment and say...'lets fly to Panama for a week' for instance. We as a child-free couple definitely do not have enough couples without children to spend time with.

[Fatemeh]

Hi Tatiana, and WELCOME!

I can absolutely relate to every. single. word. of your comment.

We have a nice little urban tribe built, but only a few of the members are child-free -- and some of them by circumstance, not choice. That's a group that can be hard to reconcile, because they have regrets about not having kids, and can't understand that we don't want something they desperately want but can't have.

At any rate, welcome, welcome! And please do hang out... I don't write as much about child choices as food, but it seems to be of interest for a lot of folks, so I have some posts in the queue.